The last time I got my cortisone injection was somewhere around end of August or early September. The pain strikes again. Seriously I need to know how much time I still have in my life. No one can understand and feel what I've endured for the past 20 years. This is getting worse and shittier. My condition is miserably more unpleasant than a gymnast! I always ask myself what bad things could happen next?It wouldn't have been possibly nastier than what I'm going through now or would it be?
Sometimes I think that it's pointless to keep it going. It's like having a Q&A session with myself recently. Is this really what I want? Why am I doing this? Where is the old me?Did I made a wrong choice? How to fix it? Literally, lots of issues are happening, and THAT contributes to my health deterioration and mental agitation. It exasperates me! Maybe I should just let go and give up. I just can't take it anymore. I'm not a pampered teen, I never rely on my parents, not even a single cent and it's all because I've grown up. Most of the people who know me take me as a filthy rich girl but the reality check: NOPE!!! My parents might be rich but they're not me. Moreover,they never liked UTAR,they still think public varsity is the best. So yea, I can't even tell them I'm unhappy with my campus life.
All the problems and troubles are the stressors and it ultimately became the offspring of my chronic back pain, not to mentioned the migraine and anemia! Well, my parents know about it as I do occasionally tell them when I can't stand the pain anymore. But they're clueless what caused it and how bad it really is. I need to be super careful with my words cause I don't want any of them to worried or get a heart-attack because of me. I love them.
Sometimes I really wish to have superpowers so I can be what I want to be and make dreams come true ♥
*pain alert* ...to be cont...
