Honestly, this blog serve as a platform for me to vent my anger and frustration. If it wasn't because of the insomnia, infinite boredom and hopeless miseries, I wouldn't be that motivated to blog at this time. (So you readers please don't expect to see any pictures here.) My life is at its worst condition. Never have I felt like this before. It's like my life is not mine anymore, I had to tell myself to be contended and love it as long as I can still dream and believe there's hope...
That was then and this is now. I stopped THIS and I stopped THAT...Everything I love doing in the past remained stagnant since I decided to further my studies...
I gave up my career and passion just to get a f**king damn cert and pleased my parents, showing them I could survive in the reality by promising a bright and guaranteed future with that bloody degree.
omgwthfml...
I always imagine the life I might be living if I have not chosen to be where I'm now. I used to be the one who take the lead, now I felt like I'm one step slower than my peers, always wasting time pondering what to do next. How I wish I could forget the heaps of shit and just have fun like any other girls out there!
Seriously, I don't even club now. I mean my existence in club was like almost zero! I hide my traces as good as possible and conceal my feelings, nobody knows what I'm thinking and what is my ability. All they can see is a geek in me. If it's not for tutorials, I wouldn't have stepped my feet outside the house. My daily life is so dull and simple it only comprises of eat, sleep, study, movies, blog and FB. Get my point now?
Life is always filled with ambiguity. I get my freedom when I'm away from home but I'll have to be on my own in every aspect of life, and it seems like troubles are never tired and sick of me. But as soon as I have my holidays, I need to be home. Deplorably, I can't hide from them. Sometimes it's good to be back but I can't breathe if they start turning me into a marionette.
When will I have my luck back?I'm like a lost soul...
